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“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” (Matthew 7:7-11) 

We live in a society where early marriage is considered an achievement. When one attains a certain age and is not married, the person becomes a failure in the eyes of the society. Family and societal pressure have created a lot of bad marriages. This is because many people, including believers in Christ have married the wrong person due to pressures from family members. Little wonder, we have a lot of divorce cases among us.

Many people, men and women alike, in abusive marriages. I strongly believe that most abusive marriages could have been avoided if those involved did not pay much attention to pressures from family, friends and the society at large. Unfortunately, when you enter into a bad union, the same society will mock you. The same people who put pressure on you to marry will prescribe divorce for you. After divorce, the same people will describe you as one that couldn’t stay in marriage. If you are a man, they will accuse you of not loving your wife. If you are a woman, you will be accused of not being submissive. All manner of stories will be told concerning why you could not stay in marriage. People that don’t know you will tell your story according to the script they have written for you. Whatever the case, you are the one at the receiving end.

Many times, people blame marriage delay on all manner of external forces like witchcraft and so forth.  Whilst it is true that demonic forces can hinder people from getting married early or married at all, it is also important for us to understand that God can keep us from early marriage for own good. For instance, there are certain habits in us that won’t let our marriage last if we got married without purging ourselves of such.

Will God allow us into a marriage that won’t give us peace?

Will He allow us to get married and bring shame to His Holy name because our marriage makes us do ungodly things like fighting with and cheating on our spouse?

Will God permit us to marry if he knows we will become a burden to our spouse and probably make him or her lose faith in the Lord or backslide?

The answer to all of the above is NO.

Experience has taught me that God can cause someone’s marriage to delay because he wants that person to deal with issues that will affect the union, negatively.

I know that humans love to live in denial and pretend to be angels, whilst others are demons in our eyes. For this reason, many will not agree with me that many marriages are suffering because those involved have certain habits which work against their marriages. However, whether we agree or not, it is a reality. Many marriages are suffering because of ungodly characters exhibited by either one or both parties which they have refused to change. God can hold back one’s marriage until our ungodly characters have been dealt with. To the undiscerning, this will be blamed on demonic forces. In reality, it is God at work.

Truth be told, a good father does not give something that will rob his children of joy to them. The children may not understand their father refusal to give them what they want, but their father knows they can’t handle it at the time they desperately want it. So, as a good father, he will keep it away from them until they have proven themselves capable of handling such. In effect, God does not hold back good things from us. However, he can do so if what we have asked for will bring shame to him or even destroy us.

Marriage is sometimes like that. God can stop us from marrying at a certain age and time because we are not ready for it at that point. Unfortunately, we think that once we attain a certain age, we are ready for marriage. It is not always the case. Marriage is for matured minds; mature minds are people who know what is right and wrong and walk accordingly.

Truth be told, God hates divorce. Therefore, He would rather keep our marriage for some time, that is, if He sees that we cannot handle it, and let us deal with everything that will ruin the union, than allow us to marry young and get divorced or stay in an abusive marriage.

Every child of God experiencing delay in marriage should not look outwardly only, but also inwardly. Witchcraft may not be the reason people come and walk away from you. Bad habits could be the real cause. This applies to both men and women. We all need to examine ourselves. Ask God to show you your weakness and deal with them. That could be the reason God is delaying your marriage.

We have many things working against our marriage; anger, unforgiving spirit, extravagant lifestyle, lack of love and submission. Others include lack of respect for our spouse, greed, selfishness, bitterness, pride, lies and so forth.  Any and all of the above has the power to rob and has robbed many people the opportunity to marry early. We may not know that those things can destroy marriages and also rob us of marriage opportunity. But God knows. And since God loves us and want us to enjoy our marriage, He can keep the doors of marriage shut until we have overcome them. If we are not spiritual enough to understand that God is behind the delay, we will keep worrying till we create trouble for ourselves.

Truth be told, contrary to popular belief that every marriage delay is caused by demonic forces, God can also keep us from marriage until we attain a certain age. When we know the reason for that, instead of crying and weeping, but rather wait patiently for our time. The only way to find out is to seek God’s face when marriage is delaying.

Another reason marriage can delay is that sometimes the people who come into our lives are not the right for us. There was a time I was so much in love with a particular woman and wanted her as a wife. But God did not allow it. If I had married her, she would have ruined my life. God delivered me from calamity which would have come to me through marriage. I did not understand it then. Today, I am glad and grateful to God for what he did for me.

If a man or woman left you after promising marriage, don’t be bitter, the Lord may have delivered you from trouble. If your marriage has delayed, stop crying and thinking that God has forsaken you. God may have allowed the delay to happen to save you from trouble. It could be because of bad habits, or you are yet to meet the person God has ordained for you.

Whilst marriage is delaying, we should look inwardly, purge ourselves of bad habits, and wait for the right person God has created for us. Therefore, if you experiencing marriage delay, it could be that God is taking care of those things that will make your marriage horrible. It is better to marry late and enjoy our marriage than marry young and divorce or be abused. God bless you.

Source:   “Truth be told” series. 

Author:   Apostle Frank B. Ogbu

                 Head Pastor/Overseer

                 Champion Grace Eternal Ministries

                  Ayikai Doblo, Amasaman 

                  Accra, Ghana

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